February 25, 2005

In Love's True Light

I love thee, I love but thee,

With a love that shall not die

Till the sun grows cold

And the stars grow old.

                                      -Willam Shakespeare

     Last night I came to a sudden and almost explosive realization... I can't do it all. I have been so focused on trying to support my troops that I neglected my own needs. Pushing through mission after mission speeds times passage, but it did little to hush the keening thump of my heart. I've been on more deployments then I care to remember, and I have never felt more then a fleeting sense of distance to remind me of what I left behind. But this is different, because I am different. And I'm different because when I stepped onto that plane I left what I loved most in this world. Its a strange irony that to defend the principles I hold so dear I was asked to leave the love of my life. And yet that is exactly what I did. Throughout my decade of military service I have always had sympathy and respect for those in my ranks who left their families behind. There was a part of me that intuitively understood that while we were taking the same risks, they were making a bigger sacrifice. But until this deployment I didn't realize how wrenching it can be. I carry my favorite picture of my wife against my heart, just within my body armor. Its careworn edges attest to the frequency with which it is viewed.    

     Although technology has bridged oceans and opened new avenues of communication you would never know it sitting here in this dusty office. The line to use the phones still hovers around two hours, and the internet cafes stay packed regardless of the hour. I'm tired, but not too tired to wait in line for a couple of hours. Tonight I need to talk with the woman that I love.

Feb 25, 2005 5:43:00 AM | Deployment Blues

2 Comments

Curt
That is a timely set of words for the generations to come. You have certainly put to words what I knew, and so many ohters, but it certainly hasn't been written any where I've seen that succiently. Found you today viw Mudville Gazette...looks like a new add to the daily read list. Thanks for doing the hard work!

Posted by: Curt | March 14, 2005 at 09:34

Robin in Ohio
Wow! You are an incredible writer! I am in awe of your talents! Thanks for sharing a little of your life with us. Take care and stay safe. Robin in Ohio

Posted by: Robin in Ohio | March 13, 2005 at 19:02

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