Yesterday I received a vile email that emptied self righteous wrath on both my soldiers and I. The rambling message started with a blanket accusation “you are heartless conquerors” and ended with the author reveling in the thought that “you will return home broken men”. I have heard these empty arguments bandied around before, but never with such vitriolic zeal. The email wasn’t an intellectual exchange on the pros and cons of this war, it was the virtual equivalent of a slap in the face. By all rights I should have been infuriated, but all I could muster was abject pity for the cowardly author. I have said this before, but it bears repeating so I will say it again. We didn’t come here to conquer, and we didn’t come here to hate. That may be difficult to understand for those simplistic minds that automatically equate military service with blind reptilian fury, but it is true nonetheless. The anonymous writer was wrong when he said we would return home broken, but perhaps he was using his own frail heart as a reference point. But to say we will return unchanged would be just as false..
One of the lies we tell ourselves is that this place won’t change us - but that is little more then an empty wish. Iraq has already changed us, and the men that reported to duty all those long months ago will never return. We will return in their place, and though we share common memories with those prior incarnations of self we will be different. In our absence the dense underbrush of petty rivalries, false friends and empty dreams will have long since burned away as surely as if the rugged landscape of our hearts had endured some great firestorm. In many ways it has.
But nothing is ever truly lost without something being gained, and we are no exception. Like the forest that is reborn in the ashes of a wildfire, so too will we grow amidst the scorched memories of pain and loss. And someday those interior slopes will again be fertile and speckled with a riot of new cares and concerns. To the casual observer we will look no different from any other person, just another gray face in a gray world. But to those of us who have endured the fires there will always be an unspoken bond, and we will recognize the faded scars of our friends as if they were our own reflections. There is no universal insight magically granted to those who have been in combat, but our time here will ensure one thing - we will never again be allied with those chill souls who risk nothing and therefore gain nothing.
Posted by: Bill Faith | October 14, 2005 at 14:57
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